Gracious reminders

It’s easy to get comfortable. It’s easy to begin to think that we can manage on our own. The message our world promotes is one of independence, self-reliance and individualism. But is that all real or a façade that we often play along to?

The last few years in my life have been a reminder, a gracious reminder, that I am unable to care for myself, unable to determine my own well-being and health, but utterly dependent on God for my daily needs.

For over 10 years I’ve had a constant agonising migraine (it’s more than that but words fail). For most of that time I haven’t slept much due to the pain, I’ve had stomach issues and other health complications as a result. Let’s just say it hasn’t been fun.

However, after 10 years the Lord has helped me see that this is a gracious reminder of my need to bow the knee in dependence on Him each day. My natural tendency is to go at it myself, to power through and try to achieve, which can result in an attitude of pride.

But my health has helped me see that anything I do is not an act of my own ability or self, it is a gift from God.

For the last number of months, by God’s grace I have been able to sleep again. My life circumstances have changed which mean I’m more tired than normal so my body just shuts down at night.

January was a testing month. A month of pain, flu, working on the sofa, unable to visit people and barely having the energy to prepare sermons and preach. Whilst I’m still in the midst of the difficulties and pain, the lesson is the same. It is all a gracious reminder to rely on the Lord.

This attitude to pain and suffering didn’t come over night, it came after years of wrestling (and I mean really really wrestling) with God and the idea of His sovereignty.

Have my prayers for healing been answered? No.

Do I stop praying for healing? No.

Was it easy to come to terms with a potential life full of chronic pain? No.

Does it change my view of God? No.

Is there a silver bullet to understanding the benefit of suffering in the life of Christian? No.

Do all Christians serve a great God, who in His sovereignty often chooses suffering to teach us lessons that we need to learn about Him, ourselves and our world? Yes! I call them gracious reminders.

Gracious reminders that He is God and I am not.

Gracious reminders that my life is His, not my own.

Gracious reminders that my emotions don’t change God.

Gracious reminders that each breath I draw is a gift from God.

Gracious reminders that each day I live as a representative of His Kingdom and so I live, I learn and I dwell on God’s Word to know Him more and to learn more of His gracious reminders in my life.