There was a time in my life when the language of the Christian faith felt painful.
I knew the right answers. I could preach the gospel clearly. I said that I believed every word of Scripture. And yet, in the quiet hours of the night, when the darkness pressed in and my own mind turned against me, those truths seemed distant, almost unreachable. I lived under the shadow of depression. There were seasons marked by self-harm, and moments, more than I care to admit, when I attempted to end my life.
By God’s mercy, that is no longer my story today. But it is part of my story. And it has left me with a deep conviction: many Christians have lost the biblical language for suffering.
We have lost lament.
What Is Lament?
Biblical lament is not mere sadness. It is not grumbling, nor is it a loss of faith. Lament is the faithful expression of sorrow, confusion, and even protest directed toward God.
It is what we find all over the Psalms:
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1)
These are not the words of unbelievers. These are the prayers of God’s people.
Lament is what faith sounds like when life doesn’t make sense.
The Silence of the Modern Church
In many of our churches we are rightly zealous for truth. We want to proclaim the sovereignty of God, the sufficiency of Christ, and the authority of Scripture.
But if we are not careful, we can unintentionally create a culture where only certain emotions feel acceptable.
Joy? Yes.
Gratitude? Of course.
Confidence? Absolutely.
But sorrow? Confusion? Despair?
Those are often quietly pushed to the margins.
The result is that many suffering Christians feel like strangers in their own churches. They sit in the pews, singing of victory, while internally they are barely holding on. And because they have never been taught how to lament, they assume something must be wrong with their faith.
I know that feeling all too well.
Jesus and the Language of Lament
We must never forget that Jesus himself lamented. On the cross, Jesus spoke the words of Psalm 22 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
This is astonishing. The sinless Son of God, in the moment of his deepest suffering, prays a lament. And he does so not in unbelief, but in perfect faith. Lament, then, is not opposed to trust in God, it is an expression of it.
Only someone who believes God is there, and that he hears, will cry out like that.
Why Lament Matters
1. Lament Teaches Us to Be Honest Before God
For years, I thought I needed to tidy myself up before coming to God. I assumed that faith meant presenting a composed, confident version of myself.
But Scripture teaches the opposite.
God invites us to bring our unfiltered hearts to him. Not the edited version. Not the “Sunday-best” version. The real one.
Lament gives us permission to say:
“This hurts.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Lord, where are you?”
And to say it to him.
2. Lament Guards Us from False Gospels
If we remove lament, we subtly drift toward a distorted Christianity, one that promises constant victory, emotional stability, and visible blessing.
But that is not the gospel.
The Bible prepares us for suffering, not just triumph. It gives us categories for grief, not just celebration.
Lament keeps us rooted in reality. It reminds us that we live in a fallen world, awaiting redemption.
3. Lament Deepens Our Communion with Christ
In my darkest moments, when words failed and hope felt distant, the Psalms of lament became a lifeline.
I discovered that I was not alone in my struggle. The Scriptures gave me words when I had none. More than that, they drew me into fellowship with Christ, the Man of Sorrows.
When we lament, we walk a path he has already walked.
4. Lament Leads Us Back to Hope
Biblical lament is not a dead end. Most laments follow a pattern:
- Cry out to God
- Describe the pain
- Ask for help
- Reaffirm trust
Even when circumstances don’t immediately change, something else does: our posture toward God. We move from silence to prayer. From isolation to relationship. From despair toward hope.
Practicing Lament Today
If lament feels unfamiliar, that’s understandable. It may take time to learn this language. But here are a few simple ways to begin:
1. Pray the Psalms
Start with Psalms like 13, 42, 77, or 88. Pray them slowly. Make their words your own.
2. Be Specific with God
Don’t generalise your struggles. Name them. Bring them into the light before him.
3. Hold On to Truth, Even When It Feels Distant
Lament does not deny God’s character. It wrestles with it. Keep anchoring yourself in who he is, even when your emotions lag behind.
4. Lament in Community
We need churches where it is safe to say, “I’m not okay.” Pastors, in particular, must lead the way here.
A Word to the Struggling Christian
If you are in a dark place right now, let me speak plainly: Your struggle does not disqualify your faith. Your questions do not scare God. Your tears are not wasted.
There were nights when I thought I would not make it through. And yet, by God’s grace, I did, not because I was strong, but because he is faithful.
You do not need to pretend with God. You do not need to clean yourself up first.
Come as you are. Speak honestly. Lament.
The God Who Hears
The beauty of biblical lament is not merely that it gives us words, it directs those words to a God who listens. A God who draws near to the brokenhearted. A God who did not remain distant from our suffering, but entered into it in the person of his Son.
At the cross, Jesus bore our sin. In his resurrection, Jesus secured a future where lament will one day cease, not because we have learned to suppress our pain, but because pain itself will be no more.
Until that day, we lament, as we do, we cling to Christ because even in the darkest valley he is there and he is enough.
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